Ella has been up and down lately. Sometimes her low have been too low. At one point during a long crying session in bed she told me that sometimes she feels like she it would be better/easier if she wasn’t around any more but she doesn’t want to feel that way and she doesn’t want to do anything bad. Her grades have also slipped and her attention and motivation have slipped as well. Not sure if it is her meds or just…some other chemical imbalance.
So we made appointments with a psychologist and a separate appointment with neurologist Dr. Roeller because we didn’t care for the Mayo doctor. Ella said she didn’t want to see the psychologist but I told her I don’t know if you were over tired when she told me this, if she was looking for attention, if her thoughts of Mary Froelich (who committed suicide two weeks after Ella met her) are running through her head but if she tells me this, I’m not going to take ANY chances. I’m going to make sure she is OK. I have to. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her. I couldn’t go on if anything happened to my kids, especially if I knew there was something I maybe could have done.
The psychologist said after visiting with Ella that there seems to be some depression there with some suicidal thoughts but she doesn’t want to act on them. They want to do a full work up on Ella and continue to see the psychologist along with possibly starting antidepressants.
We visited with Dr. Roeller and told him what’s been going on and he was pretty convinced that we needed to change seizure medication to hopefully rid her of these thoughts. He said right away he never has liked Depakote which is what Ella wound up being on after a few tries of other medications. He also mentioned getting a blood draw which ticked me off cause I asked the Mayo doctor about this and he didn’t seem to think it was necessary. More reason not to like the Mayo doctor. Mom and I really liked the appointment with Roeller. So hopefully the change in meds and seeing a psychologist will help Ella deal with things. Plus, summer is right around the corner so hopefully she can unwind now for a few months.
Kaitlyn played her last softball game and she is struggling with it a bit. She needs to make hard decisions about what she wants to do next year. As she gets into 9th grade the coaches will not accept missing practices. She opted to quit softball but she really likes to play softball.
All the girls had their school concerts. They all did a nice job. Ella played her flute for the first time for band then later played it for mass. Kaitlyn also had her voice recital and sang “Never Alone” and of course did wonderful. I guess she made someone cry during rehearsal because they recently lost a parent.
Sophie was Star of the Week and her class had to describe her and say nice things about her. A number of them described her as “intelligent” to which Ella said, “I can’t even spell intelligent!” Ella is 10 and Sophie’s classmates are 8 mind you.
Kate and Bella have really started to get along quite well. It seems after girls state basketball things have changed. We left it up to Kate as to whether she wanted Bella to go with and she said no because she would try to run off with Maddie and Ivy. Since then, it seems, they have become close. She and others actually came to Kate’s dance recital which was great and great confidence boost for her.
So that’s what’s going on. Life should start slowing down now as we ease into the end of the school year. Everyone had a great school year. Hopefully we can get Ella into things she enjoys and keeps her happy.
Love you girls….always. .